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‘No Way Up’: once again, you’d wish the sharks would just eat everyone

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Generic and unimaginative, this so-called thriller wastes its potentially interesting setting: that of a submerged airplane with survivors within.

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Free Malaysia Today
‘No Way Up’ tells the lacklustre story of hapless passengers having to escape a sunken plane. (Altitude Films pic)

Does the cinema world really need another film targeting sharks? Those poor creatures already have reason to dislike humans as it is: not only have we poisoned the seas and devastated their food supplies, some folks even enjoy making soups out of them.

Alas, the poor fish are the villains once again in “No Way Up”, an action-thriller – description used loosely – directed by Claudio Fah. With one notable exception, the actors here are nobodies with little credit to their name… and even less talent.

But before that, let’s delve into the plot, paper-thin as it is. “No Way Up” follows Ava (Sophie McIntosh), the daughter of an American politician who flies off on holiday with her boyfriend Jed (Jeremias Amoore) and his best friend Kyle (Will Attenborough).

Also, on board are Ava’s bodyguard, Brandon (Colm Meaney) and flight attendant Danilo (Manuel Pacific).

In the style of “Final Destination”, the plane is catastrophically damaged mid-flight and crashes into the Pacific Ocean before sinking. Ava and her posse manage to survive in an air pocket in the rear of the plane – but escape is made difficult when sharks come a-sniffin’ through the breach in the hull.

Will they be able to get to safety? Will the sharks have an all-American buffet? Does anyone care?

Here’s a moment of trivia: actor Will is the great-nephew of naturalist David Attenborough. Shame they couldn’t get him and his famed voice in the movie – not like that would have saved it!

Free Malaysia Today
Colm Meaney, the only actor of note, has a ridiculously short screen time. (Altitude Films pic)

Perhaps it is fitting that the sunken plane is implied to be a low-budget flight, given how the movie feels like one.

You’d think the filmmakers would have milked their silly premise for all its worth: had they done so, the film might have been halfway entertaining. Instead, everything is taken far too seriously.

To be fair, the setting is one that could have been interesting. Unfortunately, the possibilities are squandered, with only the occasional shark attack adding some action to an otherwise dull effort.

The only moderately good actor, Colm Meaney, barely has any screen time despite how prominently he features in the trailer. As for the others – it’s hard to tell if the actors are bad, or whether their performances are affected by a menial script that is simplistic and riddled with clichés.

Most annoyingly, “No Way Up” forces you to learn who the characters are through truckloads of clunky exposition. Clearly writer Andy Mayson has never heard of the old filmmaking adage “show, don’t tell”.

And the less said about the characters, the better: if there was a moment of authentic development among them, you would have to squint real hard to see it.

So, is “No Way Up” worth an hour and a half in the cinema? Seriously, folks, just watch the trailer below. You’ll save yourself time and money, and would essentially have watched the entire thing for free.

As of press time, ‘No Way Up’ is screening in cinemas nationwide.

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